Confessions of a Teen Sleuth: A Parody by Cain Chelsea

Author:Cain, Chelsea [Cain, Chelsea]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: Mystery, Humour, Young Adult, Adult
ISBN: 9781582345116
Amazon: 1582345112
Goodreads: 84921
Publisher: Bloomsbury USA
Published: 2005-04-01T08:00:00+00:00

"I think I should go in by myself," I offered carefully.

"And what do you seek?"

"The only thing I want for our country is the right to a decent existence, to dignity without hypocrisy, and to independence without restrictions."

"And the puppet?"

Lumumba approached the bag, opened it, and withdrew the puppet. Then he twisted off the puppet's head and poured the contents of the hollow skull into his cupped hand.

"Diamonds!" I exclaimed.

"They are Mobutu's stolen bounty. They were stolen from him three weeks ago."

"By?"

"By a TEEN agent called Spice."

"Why would a TEEN agent called Spice steal Mobutu's diamonds?"

"To make him think that I did."

I was still having trouble following. "You're accusing a teen sleuth of having acted unethically?"

"I know that this will be hard for you to hear," he declared gently, "but the CIA has been manipulating teenage agents for years. It was clear from your exploits and those of the Hardy brothers that teenagers were capable of great sleuthing. The CIA immediately put a program in motion that would train teen agents to carry out government actions. That program became the Top-secret Education Espionage Network. They know that Mobutu is a fan of yours, and now he thinks that you also work with TEEN. He has heard that the puppet was sent to you. Because you went to him and asked him how to find me, and knowing that you are an ace sleuth, he now thinks that I stole his diamonds and sent them to you to get them out of the country. He will stop at nothing to destroy me. Just as the CIA planned."

I was stunned. Was it true that I had been manipulated into upsetting this delicate power balance? I had once been in a very similar situation involving a circus ninja and an evil child soothsayer. I did not like revisiting it. "You must tell TEEN superagents Christopher Cool and his Apache Indian roommate Geronimo Johnson everything that you've told me," I urged.

"It's too late for that." Lumumba sighed, shaking his head. "TEEN and the CIA believe that Mobutu will be an ally. I have too many friends in the Soviet Union. I can only delay the inevitable now."

"What about the diamonds?"

"They are fakes," he declared, straightening up and pushing the puppet into my arms. "Your friends have already returned the real diamonds to Mobutu. He grows more powerful as we speak."

"Chris Cool is a brilliant agent," I persisted. "I just know that he can help."

"Is he brilliant?" Lumumba muttered, with a faint, melancholy smile. "Then perhaps he will be the one they send to assassinate me."

There was nothing more to say.

Lumumba gestured at the door. "Go," he ordered. "You are in danger every moment that you are here. The rioting is going to start soon."

I backed out of the room and left him there. The grim look of futile determination on his face never left me. I ran all the way to the car, clutching the Congolese puppet to my breast.

Back at TEEN headquarters in New York City, I rushed into Q's office with Chris, Geronimo, and Bess on my heels.

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